You Know Your A Star wars Geek When
Signs You've Been Waiting In Line For Star Wars Tickets To Long
Things Bill Clinton Would Say If He Were In Star Wars
Signs Your Not Watching the Real Star Wars
Why StarWars Characters Would Kick Butt In Star Trek
Everything I've Learned I've Learned from Star Wars
Never call someone "scruffy looking".
Never buy anything from a short, hooded, smelly guy.
Never judge anything by its size.
Always let a Wookie win.
Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it.
Don't attempt to handcuff someone larger than you.
In negotiations, a thermal detonator can come in handy
If some yells out "It's a trap!" then believe them
Watch your hands when sword fighting.
Short green guys with big ears can be more than they seem.
Electricity really *hurts*.
When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the door's completely open before going through it.
Never allow yourself to become as clumsy as you are stupid.
It's not wise to upset a Wookie.
Sometimes it's better to fly into an asteroid field.
You never know what a day is gonna bring....
When in doubt, follow the garbage
Size matters not (now there's one you can use in real life!)
Be prepared for things to go wrong.
Never trust a strange computer.
You'll always have a bad feeling about something.
Don't park in asteroids.
Never proclaim your "moment of triumph" before it actually happens.
If a droid sneaks up on you while you're kissing a princess, ignore him.
Guys in black are bad guys.
Guys in white can also be bad guys (in this case, they are called storm troopers).
Beware of transparent or holographic persons, they will always cause you trouble.
Young men should be wary of getting involved with crazy, old hermits who like to be called "Master."
After toppling an altruistic democracy, seizing control of the military, and establishing yourself as supreme dictator, it's a good idea to invest in helmets that your troops can see through.
Whining about power converters makes you look like an idiot.
Don't go chasing falling meteors.
Even in a galaxy far, far away... Tupperware is still being used.
When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good idea.
Boys from backwater farming planets are better shots then imperial storm troopers.
Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of exploiting it.
I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie!!!
If all else fails, angle the deflector shields.
Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity
Q: What do you call a Mac Laptop? A: A Gameboy.
Q:Where is Apple HQ located? A:The City Landfill
Q: How does a Mac load a program? A: Trick question.
Q: What company makes the Apple monitors? A: Etch-A-Sketch.
A Mac Programmer was hiking in the mountains, and he came upon a shepherd who was tending a large herd of sheep that were grazing in the alpine meadow. The violist took a fancy to the sheep, and asked the shepherd: "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" The shepherd thought this was an odd request, but thought that there was little chance that the man would guess the exact number of sheep, so he said "Sure." The Mac Programmer guessed "You have 287 sheep," to the shepherd's astonishment, since this was exactly how many sheep he had. The Mac Programmer got all excited and asked "Can I pick out my sheep now?" and the shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. The Mac Programmer selected his sheep, bent over, and swung the sheep over his shoulders, to carry home with him. The shepherd then got an idea and asked "If I guess what your occupation is, can I have my sheep back?" The violist was a bit surprised by this, but figured that it was unlikely that the shepherd would be able to guess his occupation, and went along with the deal. The shepherd then guessed "You're a Mac Programmer, aren't you?" The Mac Programmer was very surprised and asked, "How did you know?" The shepherd responded, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it."
One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, Guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around 'P'!" His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a Mac User." The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!" "Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a Mac User." On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a Mac User?" "No dear," she said. "That's because you're 26 years old."